First step to the rest of my life…

Yeah! I’m so happy! Today I took the first step towards the rest of my life! Last night I had an ‘Ah ha!’ moment as my stars aligned and gave me the answer I have been pounding my head to my desk for this past year trying to figure out. Then clear as day while watching my back to back to back episodes of Oprah I had recorded on the DVR. The first episode was about Arnel Pineda now the new lead singer of the band Journey and Khadijah Williams the girl who went from skid row to Harvard. The next show was about Stephanie Nielson wow! I have to say something first….Stephanie is my new hero. In that episode Oprah had a mother who wrote in and said something along the lines of playing with playdoh made her want to kill herself. While I chuckled at the comment because I can so very easily relate…I did not understand why the tone of that woman’s face was not a funny one …. that was until the story continued and Oprah sent her to live a day in the life with Stephanie to see how she lives from day to day after surviving a horrific plane crash that left her burned and disfigured. I cannot explain the episode in full but if you have seen it you know what I mean, and if you haven’t and are a parent that looks at yourself in the mirror each morning asking yourself why in the hell did you do this to yourself, YOU NEED TO SEE THAT EPISODE! Google it, YouTube it or whatever but you have to see that episode.

Ok now all my life since I was young I always knew want I wanted to be…an Actress…while that was more of a pipe dream in most people’s eyes it was something I was very serious about. Then I got  pregnant, started a business, married, pregnant, pregnant, pregnant, started another business and yes pregnant again that dream was long gone filed in a old weakened shoebox that rests in a dark corner of a room covered in dust. A dream I was truly content with saying goodbye to leaving behind in my past….or so I thought. After the Zion, something inside of me woke. The sleeping Lion had waken from its slumber and roared louder then it ever had in the past. I entertained the idea of acting again…but how? While it was something I wanted to do again, in the back of my mind I thought I’m to old, it’s to late, I am a mother, I have kids, I am a wife, I have responsibilities. Quickly after being fired up about it it passed. This past year this annoying itch developed in my life, one that I could not locate nor scratch. While many of you might say “Well yeah, you had another baby, that can be pretty annoying” I too told myself its another kid…another responsibility, another ’start over from scratch’, you know 18 years till freedom start now…again…but no Michael and I knew it was something more. We have been going round and round and round trying to figure it out…especially me…I have been beyond restless, hopeless, annoyed, angry and stumped. WHAT THE HELL IS IT, WHAT CHANGES DO I NEED TO APPLY TO MY LIFE? It was right there on the tip of my tongue, but what…why could I not figure it out?

FINALLY! I sit down to try to work, turn on the tube and open the Oprah folder on our DVR and click play…I became engulfed in the stories of these amazing people. I sat in awe, happiness, hopefulness and ambition. I turned off the TV turned around to face my computer screen blinking on the google search box  and typed in Helicopter tours DFW, looked at the packages, prices, clicked closed, opened google search again, typed into the search box Affordable Vacations in Cabo, opened the links, reviewed the options and prices and closed the windows. I leaned back into my chair and felt overwhelmed, discouraged and upset. How in the hell are we going to be able to vacation in Cabo or do anything outside of what we do now We have 5 kids, bills, responsibilities, businesses….life…AHHHHHHHHHHHH.

That is when the Oprah episodes came back into my head, and the episode of  Trama I had watched earlier that evening. Journey’s song ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ flooded my head and it was like a new breath of life flowed into me. I thought about here today, gone tomorrow and now is the time for change. I knew at that moment what the change was that I needed to make. Clear as day it had been right there in front of my face the whole time…ACTING! What better time then now? I am not getting any younger that is for sure and I know, I KNOW this is something I can do.

So today, I woke up and called the only accredited school for acting outside of New York and Los Angeles and made an appointment to visit and tour the campus and interview. I booked a same day interview and drove to Dallas to be there for 4:30 pm. I went, I am inspired and am very much anticipating where this takes me. My journey begins. Classes start in February so I have a few months to start working on me and working on our schedule for me going back to school Mon-Fri all the way over in Dallas which is 45-60+ mins from here depending on traffic.

I am so happy that I have finally scratched that annoying itch that has been driving me crazy for this past year. I have my answer and my journey begins. I plan to blog about it every step of the way for anyone who cares…:).

- Over & Out -
- Nena X -

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