Contrary to what many people think about me that know me, I am not a cold heartless bitch. I just choose to keep people at a distance to avoid any necessary pain and suffering. While I know this is perhaps not the best course of action to take, it has become my method. A childhood behavior I installed into the psychological programming of who I have become as an adult. I am new to this whole blogging thing and I can tell it will certainly prove to be a challenge for me as I tend to be more of an introvert. No I am not saying I am shy because that is not what an introvert is…I am saying I prefer my own thoughts more often than not. I know what I am thinking, I know how I feel and I know I won’t stab myself in the back……well I may have a time or two….but I have built up a good technique for not letting folks in my world.
Well I decided to give my brother Chris another chance at working for us and giving him opportunities to be a bit more responsible. As my gut instinct was telling me, he will let me down. Now I am in no way saying I was a perfect young adult, nor am I saying I have never disappointed anyone because that is not the case at all. What I am saying is I didn’t make it a habit to bite the hand that was feeding me. I was compassionate and had a conscious. My bad for expecting that from my brother Chris. Many would say “what’s the big deal?”, thinking I don’t let stupidity like that bother me because I am not close with my family anyway. Well, it is a big deal..it’s a HUGE fucking deal because he is my brother and regardless of the lack of affection and a close relationship I still love him and wish him to do well….even if he is a little selfish shit stain ass dick.
The ordeal in question this go round is this. We had a friend come in from out of town to visit with us. We wanted to go out one night w/out all the lovely life sucking leaches [that would be our children] so against my better judgment, Michael asked my brother Chris to watch them. To secure the outcome he offered to pay him, which OK I will admit I am cheap and honestly felt like he, being their uncle and all, should have done it for free in the first place. You know considering how many favors he has cashed in with us that we don’t bring up or remind him of every chance I get [like he does]. So we drop 4 of the 5 off with him around 8pm and go to dinner. I chose to keep the baby with us because I honestly didn’t think he could handle the baby too. After what went down later that night I am glad I went with my gut on this one. Keep reading and you will see why. Ok so we went to dinner and at about 9:30 we head back to pick up the rest of the kids because there wasn’t real sufficient time to do much else. Before we even make it to his house he calls us to ask when we are going to be back because he has plans. If you decide to follow my blog and get to know me better you will soon realize this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. DON’T FUCKING CALL ME TO BOTHER ME WHEN YOUR BEING PAID TO BABYSIT! The whole point of going out is to get some ADULT time. [deep breath] Do not even let me get started on that one…that will be another blog post. So to continue on with the story……
We get to his apartment complex and punch in the gate code….ehhhh….[that is a sound effect BTW] it doesn’t work….punching in the code again…..ehhhhh…..I then punched a random number of buttons and it started to ring…I panicked and clicked the hang up button. I look at Michael and say:
Me: “Do you remember the code?”
Michael: “No..”
Me: “Damn it stupid gate I know its ****” I punch in the code again…
Michael: “Maybe it changed.”
Me: Calling Chris … ring ring…ring ring…. Chris answers
Chris: “Hello” [in his stupid drugged up sounding voice]
Me: “What is your code?”
Chris: “****”
Me: “That is what I have been punching in and it is not working.”
Chris: “Are you sure, because it’s ****”
Me: “Yes I am sure I have been punching in the code and it’s not working! Can you just come open the gate please so we can get the kids and go home?”
Chris: Still in his stupid druggy voice “Yeahhhhhh”
Me: “Ok thanks.” [note I am still being polite even though I am unhappy about being bothered while we were out and the fact we only got 1.5 hrs of GROWN UP time.
So we pull up to the gate to wait for Chris. All the while our guest is in the back seat snickering. I am sure she was entertained by her 5 day visit with us as our guest...we sure did put on a show for her. So as we pull up to the gate Michael jokes and says that the smart thing for Chris to do would be to put the kids in the car and just meet us with them at the gate. I chuckle and say yeah that would be the smart thing to do but we are talking bout Chris. Ok now note that I am giving him credit for having some common sense, just not a whole hell of a lot. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think that he would do what is about to happen! My peaceful semi-relaxed state of mind was complete side swiped and caught off guard. I felt like I had been hit right in my gut by a line backer in the next scene.
We pull into the complex as he pulls up to the gate to get it to open, he reverses into a parking space and a part of me, just a tiny part of me thought 'Oh, maybe the kids ARE in the car.' Soon as that spark entered my thoughts he pulled out of the parking lot going back in the direction he came in. Michael and I both sort of chuckled and commented briefly how that would have been to easy to have had them in the car since THAT WAS all we were doing, just picking them up. We follow him down the road, through and around the dumpster curve in the complex to his building and as we are coming around the curve I see the kids at the bottom of the steps. Ok for a moment I was impressed that he at least had them out and ready for pick up...dun dun dun....UNTIL...yes UNTIL I noticed Angelic [his girlfriend] WAS NOT I repeat WAS NOT standing out there with them! My 7 year old, 6 year old, 4 year old and shoeless 3 year old were all down stairs near the parking lot and by a broken glass bottle ALL ALONE in the middle of the night! If you are a parent you can only imagine how quickly the blood rushed to my head and everything in me wanted to jump out the van and beat the living shit out of my brother. I was even mad at Michael for a very brief moment for choosing Chris to watch them. I was furious and of course immediately I asked Chris WTF they were doing outside alone, completely ALONE…at NIGHT! He tells me to calm down, calm down. Keep in mind we have company in the Van, our guest that traveled from the other side of the country and 2 time zones to come visit with us. She I am sure found this all to be entertaining especially when Chris told me to calm down. I vaguely recall her telling him…”Oh do not tell her to calm down.” Joking around because Michael was telling me to calm down all night because I was vexed about the service at the restaurant. [it sucked, but that is another blog post].
Now I am clearly pissed off and tell him just how stupid that was to leave them out there like that unattended in the dark in a strange place [Chris had just moved into that apartment the month prior] where anything could have happened. Me being a mother my mind could not stop the auto-pilot of horrible horrible outcomes that night could have had. He proceeds to tell me to chill out and to relax and he was sorry he wasn’t thinking. OK now I am not unreasonable and am very aware people make mistakes but I was still very upset about the whole situation and gather the kids into the Van. I get ready to get back in the Van only to be bothered with:
Chris: “So you got that money?”
Me: pauses half way into the Van “Um excuse me?”
Chris: “You got that money, I need that money for babysitting.”
Me: “Um…really? Your going to ask me for the money right now after you just left my kids out here like that, are you really asking me for that right now?”
Chris: “Well I need that money tonight, I am going out.”
Me: “I already told you I have to write you a check, I do not have any cash and didn’t realize we were paying you until we actually were on our way out the door. Plus after this shit you just pulled your lucky to be getting paid anything.”
Chris: sucks his teeth “Man whateva, whateva I said I was sorry, calm down, whateva.”
At this point I get back in the Van and Michael pulls off. I am quite for about a min…then the conversation starts. I was so pissed off and hurt and…completely frustrated. We discussed the happenings and I was rather proud that I did not jump out the van and scratch his eyes out and knee him in his crotch for being so stupid and irresponsible with my little leaches lives. I was balling my eyes out at one point that night and the horrible horrible things that were running through my head were only made worse when we got home and my 3 year old told me he was scared and he had to hold his big brothers hand…whom was also scared to be left completely alone outside at night.
I then quizzed the kids about the happenings of that evening and then in further detail with Caleb and Azariah because they had gone swimming with Uncle Chris and my little 9 year old sister earlier that day. Only to find out that Uncle Chris did in fact leave them unattended at the pool for a moment to get something to drink. I am even more furious then before and call Chris to ask him. He denies it and then proceeds to scream at me on the phone about how he already said he was sorry and it was a mistake and people make mistakes and blah blah blah. I hung up on him. Who the hell is he to be yelling at me?
This is only part 1 of what happened…this is to give you the baseline of the story. The rest will come tomorrow. I am tired right now and need some sleep before the sun comes up.
- Over & Out -
- Nena X -
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